Unforgiveness is very real; it is an attack on your heart!
Take heed to yourselves. If your brother sins against you, rebuke him; and if he repents, forgive him. 4And if he sins against you seven times in a day, and seven times in a day returns to you, saying, "I repent,' you shall forgive him." Luke 17:3-4 NKJV
"For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses. Matthew 6:14-15 NKJV
"Whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father who is in heaven will also forgive you your transgressions.” Mark 11:25 NASB
“Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.” Ephesians 4:32 NASB
ASK YOURSELF
Ask yourself, who it is that allows you to feel pain, hurt, resentment, anger, rage and offense. The answer should not surprise you. I am responsible when my emotions try to lead me. Yet, even though I know it, it doesn't make it any easier when it happens.
Some years ago, when I made a decision to become a prayer warrior, I was led to make a list of people that I needed to forgive from throughout my life. Yt, I was able to make a two page list. I had all that unforgiveness inside me and I didn't even realize it. Some of the people, I forgave right away. Others took some days but I completed the list. From time to time. other people would cme to memory and I would forgive them too. They were spillovers from my my "pre" born again life.
None of them were hard cases except one. I had already forgiven the man who had murdered my father. That had taken years and lot of God's grace, but it had come before that. If we're not careful, unforgiveness can turn into bitterness which can grow and fester.
Let me say that I really was character wise a nice person all my life even before I truly became born again. Being nice won't get anyone a pass to heaven; though a lot of people think it will. I went the extra mile for people because I wanted to help them. I was raised that way. My grandmother fed the neighbors for years; just because. My mom used to pick people up in a blizzard going out to the bus stops and giving free rides. This was in the 60's. It was all I ever knew to do. Yet, as I entered adulthood with all of my spiritual knowledge, I changed. It was because I subscribed to the school of thought which says: "I'll forgive you, but I'll never forget it."
It would be years before I realized that this was not true forgiveness but a coping mechanism allowing myself to give people a "conditional" pass, not a complete pass. I think it's healthy to keep your eye on everyone including yourself, but there s a fine line between that and unforgiveness. It's a line that the believer can't cross.
Underneath all of the rhetoric; unforgiveness may be some sort of defense mechanism whose activation is triggered by our willingness to protect our hearts from further or future attacks. However, I suggest that unforgiveness is in of itself and attack on the heart ever so subtle.
Just as I was thinking that I was stronger than that; I was tested.
More tomorrow on how I coped with the flood of emotions that come as the believer tries to fight off rage and anger that can result in unforgiveness.
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